


The Saxophone Fic

by describe



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Anal, Crack, Hotel Sex, M/M, Saxophone, Sex Toys, Smut, i hope you enjoy it anyways!!1!, this is so horrible honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 04:45:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7560859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/describe/pseuds/describe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian and Ciel come across a certain sexy hotel and decide to have some fun with a certain wind instrument ;)))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Saxophone Fic

*Edit: an awesome person on YouTube by the name of CDawgVA narrated this fanfic on his channel!! go check it out (it's absolutely hilarious): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFbyGnJnBRM&t=29s *

 

 

        It was in the late afternoon when Sebastian and Ciel walked into the lobby of the mildly run-down looking hotel. As soon as they walked in through the polished glass double-doors, they were hit with the strong smell of cheap vanilla-scented candles and sweat. Above the front desk was a golden plaque that read, “No Kinkshaming Allowed.” In small print underneath were the words, “Unless you have a kinkshaming kink.”

        “Sebastian?” Ciel asked, looking around at the various features of the lobby. He made eye contact with a man sitting in the corner playing a saxophone, who then winked at him as he blew into his shiny metal tube. “What is this place?”

        “The only hotel I could find on such short notice, my Lord.”  Sebastian answered monotonously, seemingly not affected by the strange, sensual surroundings. They continued to walk up to the front desk, where a woman in a frilly, tight-fitting sailor outfit sat, staring at them intensely through her thick eyelashes while licking her lips.

        “Hello, good-lookings~” She said with a smirk. “You got a room booked?~”

        “Yes, under Phantomhive,” Sebastian replied. He noticed that the woman was wearing a nametag that read, “Sexy Slim Thicc Big-Tits Sailor Tits”.

        She looked through the computer in front of her for a moment and then paused. She reached underneath the desk and a look suddenly came over her face like she was violently coming. After a second, the _orgasm-face_ disappeared and she pulled out a plastic card, then proceeding to place it in between her boobs. “Here’s your room key, darlings~~”

        Sebastian hesitantly reached out and took the key from her cleavage, accidentally brushing against her large, soft breasts. He quickly pulled his hand away and cringed, because he’s very super super gay and likes long big cocks. And not b00bz.

        “Hope you enjoy your stay~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~” Sexy Slim Thicc Big-Tits Sailor Tits said with a wink.

        Sebastian and Ciel walked towards the hallway, passing by numerous girls dressed in maid outfits, including this one guy running around completely naked, covered in white fluid. Nobody really knew what he was doing there, but they just let him stay because they felt bad for him.

        As they continued to walk to their room, they passed by numerous stands that sold various… Items. Cheap scented candles, cherry-flavored lube, and for some reason, saxophones. Ciel passed them without a second thought; Sebastian, however, lagged behind a few steps, quickly reaching in his pocket and pulling out sixty-nine pence. He handed it to the girl behind the table, who was dressed in a white schoolgirl outfit pip pip that was clearly too small for her. She, in turn, handed him a saxophone, which he quickly hid inside his ass.

        “Sebastian, hurry up,” Ciel called, turning around like a 10/10 swagmaster 360 noscope 420 blaze it.

        “Sorry, yOung Master,” said Sebastian. He sped up his pace until he was next to Ciel and they continued walking down the hallway. They eventually arrived in their room; number 666.

        Sebastian _inserted_ the room key into the doorknob and _turned_ it, _relishing_ the sound of metal _scraping_ metal as the door just _swung_ **_wide open_ ** . _(ohhhhh…)_

        They both stepped inside the room, taking note of the red sheets neatly folded on two beds and dim mood lighting that encompassed the entire space. As they looked around more, they noticed a desk littered with various sex toys, a large flat-screen TV hanging on the wall, rose petals scattered around the floor, and a small radio resting on the bedside table between the two beds. Out of curiosity, Ciel walked over to it and turned it on.

        “MMMM, you touch my tralala~ OOOoh,..... My dING DINg dong,,,”

        Ciel immediately turned the radio off and awkwardly sat on the bed behind Sebastian. Sebastian, in response, said nothing; instead, he turned the radio back on.

        The enticing, smooth sound of a saxophone and George Michael’s smexy voice rose from the background and wrapped itself around the two, putting them in a smothering, unbreakable trance. They looked at one another, feeling an _urge_ inside themselves.

        “Young master…………” Sebastian murmured. He took a step towards Ciel, reaching out to grab his shoulder. He gradually moved in closer to Ciel, until their faces were only inches apart.

        “Sebastian,” Ciel breathed. Sebastian reached behind himself and shoved his hand down his pants. Ciel’s eyes widened.

        “Young master,” said Sebastian, revealing the saxophone to him, “ _I got you a toy_.” A _wicked_ smirk appeared on his face. Ciel’s eyes traveled along the saxophone, eyeing the _glistening_ golden knobs and curved shape. He wondered what they would feel like inside of him, and instantly became _(gasp)_ **_flustered_**. (Ohhhhhhh……)~~~

        Sebastian’s gaze drifted over ciel’s body, and his adorably red face. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Ciel’s neck.

        “Now,” he said, “                  _undress_.”

        Ciel _gasped_ lightly and nodded. He _slid_ himself off of the bed and began to **_remove_ ** his _shirt_ . It fell to the floor in a rumpled _heapppp_.

        “You know,” said Sebastian, moving impossibly closer to ciel, his lips ghosting over the shell of his ear, “that shirt looks _much_ better    _on  the     floor_ ~”

        Sebastian helped Ciel remove the rest of his clothes before pushing him up against the wall, still holding the saxophone.

        “Do you want this inside you?~” asked Sebastian, a slight purr to his voice. Ciel opened his mouth to reply, when suddenly they heard the door open. “Heyyyyyyyy boiiiiiis~~~~”

        A guy dressed in a Playboy bunny costume was leaning against the doorframe, holding a tray of glasses filled with red wine. He had brown hair in a bowl cut and his mouth was somehow in the shape of a sideways 3. “You want anything?”

        “TODOMATSU!” Alois had appeared in the window, looking infuriated. “You’re in the wrong fanfic, you dipshit! Go home!” He then did a double backflip out of the window and disappeared.

        “Ohhhhhh, he was pretty slim thicc~! I’m gonna go stalk him~~” The guy, apparently named Todomatsu, just straight up dropped the tray of wine and ran after Alois, jumping out the window dramatically. The glasses fell to the floor and shattered, wine going everywhere and staining the carpet. But did either Sebastian or Ciel even give a shit at this point?

**_No._ **

        Sebastian and Ciel’s eyes met once again, as if nothing had happened and the door _hadn’t_ been left open. Sebastian resumed his attempt at _inserting_ the saxophone into Ciel, who _moaned_ out in pleasure and **ground** **into** the mouthpiece.

        Sebastian reached into the nearby bedside table drawer and pulled out a bottle of lubricant. He began to lube up the body of the saxophone, slowly and gently pushing it further inside him.

        Ciel suddenly moaned loudly as he felt the first knob on the saxophone enter his rectum. He instantly began to beg for more.

        “Please daddy, suffocate my anus like the little bitch i am oh yeeeeaaahh.”

        Sebastian eventually managed to push the saxophone halfway up Ciel’s ass. Ciel, in turn, whimpered as the little knobs rubbed up against his walls. He _moaned_ _pitifully_ as the instrument _ravaged_ his insides, _stretching_ his intestines and making him writhe in pleasurable, _fiery_ , _unbearable,_ **_severe life-threatening_ ** pain.

        Sebastian grinned at Ciel’s pain as he reached over and proceeded to add more lube to the saxophone. Then, out of curiosity, he touched a lube-covered finger to his tongue.

_Piña colada_.

        He continued to push the saxophone into his young bitch, and the maids who were watching outside the room wondered how this was even possible. Yes, the door was still open. Thanks, _Totty_.

        Ciel let out another loud moan as he could feel the saxophone literally rising in his chest. Soon enough, he could feel the mouthpiece in his throat, and for a moment, he felt as though he was choking, and murmured “Oh yeah daddy, choke me like the little bitch I am.”

        The mouthpiece emerged from his throat and out of his mouth. Sebastian stopped inserting the saxophone.

        It was time.

        He moved to stand in front of Ciel, and took hold of the mouthpiece

        with his mouth.

        Ciel looked up at him with glazed eyes, and Sebastian begun to play the one and only song he had ever loved.

        Careless Whisper.

        George Michael’s intoxicating saxophone tune floated through the room, from Ciel’s ass. The beautiful music somehow managed to summon the REAL George Michael, who strolled sexily into the room and began to sing along to the smexy tune of Careless Whisper.

        “I feel so unsure, as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor, as the music dies, something in your eyes, calls to mind the silver screen, and all its sad good-byes…” His majestic voice filled the air, accompanied by Sebastian’s saxophone playing.

        Ciel moaned in pleasure at the wondrous melody filling the air, swaying his enlarged hips to the tune.

        After about five full minutes, the song came to an end and George Michael, like Totty and Alois, jumped out the window. Sebastian and Ciel watched him fly and heard his bones snap and his screech of pain as he collided with the concrete floor outside.

        “Well, he will not be singing anymore,” said Sebastian as he removed the saxophone from Ciel’s intestines with surprising speed. Ciel screamed in pain and p le a sure~~ because he’s a dirty lil bish damn right.

        And then the maids all screamed.

        Well shit.

        At least Ciel’s found interest in something new:

        The

        Saxophone.

 

Written by Emma and Megan

**(who are going straight to hell)**


	2. The Doorknob Fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was the original fic, the sax fic was actually written after this one. we never finished it, but megan and i had personal issues, and as a result we are no longer in contact so it never will be finished. if you want to finish it yourself you can.
> 
> basically ciel gets his dick stuck in a doorknob and stupid shit happens.  
> enjoy.

        At first, it seemed like it was going to be a completely normal day at the Phantomhive mansion.

        Key phrase being, “at first”.

        The day had started off normally, at least. But at around two o’clock, Ciel’s loyal butler had gone off somewhere, and now he was nowhere to be seen.

        ”Sebastian?” Ciel called, walking through the halls of the mansion. There was no answer. Ciel sighed in frustration at the absence of his butler. Where the hell could he possibly be?

        Ciel walked past his room, but stopped after he took a couple more steps. Maybe Sebastian was in his room, for some reason. He turned around and walked to his door, but before he touched the doorknob, his dick somehow got stuck inside of it.

        “SEBASTIAN!” He cried.

        “What is it, young maste-” he stopped as soon as he saw Ciel inside of the doorknob.

        “GET ME OUT, SEBASTIAN!” Ciel screeched, incredibly aroused. He would never admit it to his now frozen butler, but he did have quite the fetish for doorknobs and being inside of one certainly wasn’t helping at the moment.

        “Young master, how did you go about getting yourself stuck inside of a doorknob?” asked Sebastian, who stood motionless, observing the situation. Ciel panted, his breath ragged and his forehead beginning to sweat. He tried not to squirm as his arousal started to become larger.

        “I-it doesn’t matter,” said Ciel, starting to fidget. “Just get me out of here!”

        “Yes, my lord,” said Sebastian, though he didn’t move. His eyes traveled over Ciel’s now fully fidgeting body which was currently stuck inside a doorknob. Seeing his young master like this was rather turning him on.

        “C-come on, Sebastian,” said Ciel. Sebastian still didn’t move. Ciel turned his head to look at Sebastian and was immediately met with a blazing stare. His eyes widened.

        “S-sebastian?”

        Sebastian moved to stand behind Ciel. He ran his hands down his sides and stopped at his thigh.

        “What are you-”

        “Shh… Don’t speak,” said Sebastian, cutting him off.

        Ciel gasped as Sebastian moved his hands to cup his ass.

        “Sebastian, I thought I told you to… to…”

        “What is it, young master?” asked Sebastian as he began to tease Ciel’s entrance.

        “I… I thought I told you to get me out of here a long time ago,” said Ciel.

        Sebastian moved so that his face was directly in front of Ciel’s.

        “I think I’ll have to disobey your order, young master,” he said with a smirk.

        Ciel was about to protest when Sebastian slipped a finger inside. He let out a loud moan at the sensation. Sebastian’s smirk grew wider as, one by one, he inserted more fingers into his master.

        “Se… Sebastian…” Ciel’s breath was heavy as he spoke.

        “Do you wish for me to stop, my lord?”

        “No… Don’t stop…”

        Sebastian didn’t. Soon enough, his entire hand was up Ciel’s ass.

        But he didn’t stop there.

        Ciel yelled in both pain and pleasure as Sebastian slowly inserted his _entire arm_ into his young master. All the way up to his shoulder. How he did that, no one knows and no one ever will know, but regardless of how disturbing it was, it was extremely hot.

        Suddenly, they heard a familiar voice yell, “SEBBY! You’re _cheating_ on me?!”

        Ciel and Sebastian turned their heads simultaneously to look at Grell, who was standing there in the windowsill, pants completely off. Sebastian then realized that his pants were off as well.

        Without saying another word, Grell started to suck Sebastian’s dick. Ciel turned to look at them, almost feeling betrayed that his butler was letting someone as low as Grell suck his magnificent cock. But then again, he had his arm up his ass, so he was okay.

        Sebastian started to moan loudly as Grell sukked harder. He jerked his arm around inside Ciel, making him scream louder at the searing pleasure of Sebastian’s arm roughly buttfucking him. Meanwhile, cum dripped from Grell’s mouth and onto the floor, forming a small puddle. Grell pulled away from Sebastian a moment and smiled.

        “Wasn’t that a little fast, Sebby? I would have thought you’d last a bit longer,” Grell smirked, wiping the remaining drops of cum from his mouth. Sebastian looked down at the sexy grim reaper with glowing demonic eyes that sent shivers down Grell’s spine.

        “I’m terribly sorry,” said Sebastian, “but it seems that you are simply one hell of a lover.”

        That shut him up.

        Their eyes were torn from each other at the sound of Ciel’s voice. He stood trembling in front of the two, breath ragged and eyes glazed with lust.

        “Sebastian… please,” he said.

        “Do not worry, young master,” said Sebastian, “I have not forgotten about you.” With that he proceeded to shove his other entire arm up Ciel’s ass. Ciel screamed in agony as the fabric of Sebastian’s gloves rubbed against his inner walls, making him delirious with pleasure. (Ciel’s one fucked up guy.)

        Just as Ciel began to feel his orgasm building within him, Claude appeared in the doorway, closely followed by a distraught Alois.

 

(i'm sorry)


	3. Extras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here are some extra pieces of shit for your reading pleasure if you know what i mean
> 
> (i'm just on a quest to provide you with as much trash as possible aren't i?)

**the original idea:**

 

        Ciel Phantomhive, earl of the Phantomhive Manor, walked through the halls of his mansion nonchalantly. He was currently heading towards his room from which he would order his butler, Sebastian, to make him some afternoon tea. He eventually arrived at the door to his room, closed his fingers around the knob, and opened it. 

        “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” Ciel shouted. Laying on his bed before him was his beloved(?) butler Sebastian and his rival, Claude Faustus. Inside each other. Sebastian turned his head to look at Ciel.

        “Oh hello, young master,” he said casually. Ciel observed the situation once more and noted that Claude was staring directly at him as he lay beneath Sebastian.

        “What the hell are you doing?” Ciel asked once again.

 

**the super cuss word edition (doorknob):**

 

        “Sebastian! Get your goDDAMN ASS In hERE!” Ciel shouted.

        After a few moments, Sebastian appeared in the doorway with a neutral expression.

        “What the fUCK DO YOU WANT?!” Said Sebastian in a relatively monotone voice.

        “I’M fUCKING STUCK IN THIS SHITTY GODDAMN DOORKNOB YOU ASS,” said Ciel. “GET ME THE FUCK OUT YOU diPSHIT.”

        “Is that a fucking order?” Asked Sebastian.

        “YES YOU FUCKING DICK,” Ciel screeched angrily.

        Sebastian kneeled on the ground.

        “Yes, my bITCh.”

**         “Damn right I am,” said Ciel. **

 

 

 

Oops wait i mean what no-

What i meant to say was

** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_water **


End file.
